Very Short Movie Reviews

Since I can’t limit this entire post to 140 characters or less, I maintained my self-imposed restriction for each category. So here you have it: my personal picks, and my predictions, for the 85th annual Academy Awards.

BEST PICTURE: Argo will and should win, and one can only hope that the assembled winners shout “Argo fuck yourself!” from the stage.

LEADING ACTOR: Daniel Day-Lewis is a lock, and though he deserves it, I also remain in awe of Joaquin Phoenix in The Master.

LEADING ACTRESS: Though Jennifer Lawrence or Jessica Chastain will win, neither has the chops to pull off what Emmanuelle Riva did in Amour.

SUPPORTING ACTOR: A tough one. I wanted Hoffman, then Waltz, but on game day I think I’m in DeNiro’s camp and the voters will be too.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Helen Hunt conveyed as much emotion as Anne Hathaway, and far more understatedly and movingly, but Annie will win.

ANIMATED FEATURE: Didn’t see a single film in this category, unfortunately, but Wreck-It Ralph is the only one in my Netflix queue.

CINEMATOGRAPHY: I thought Life of Pi had this locked up until I saw Skyfall. Going out on a limb, I’ll say the latter will and should win.

COSTUME DESIGN: Anna Karenina gets my vote, but Les Misérables probably gets the Academy’s. Didn’t see Mirror Mirror. 

DIRECTING: Ang Lee made a compelling movie from an unfilmable novel. But if voters haven’t tired of Spielberg’s clichés, he’s likely to win.

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: Sugar Man will win, rightly so, but I’ll cheer if The Invisible War does b/c it’s so important. Didn’t see Gatekeepers.

DOCUMENTARY SHORT: Abstention. Didn’t have the chance to see any of these.

EDITING: Zero Dark Thirty may give it a run for its money, but Argo deserves to win.

FOREIGN: I didn’t amour Amour  but everyone else seems to. And since it’s going to win, it doesn’t matter that it’s the only nominee I saw.

MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING: How do you compete with Middle Earth? You don’t. Didn’t see The Hobbit, but I think it probably will and should win.

MUSIC (SCORE): In the absence of the actual best score (Jonny Greenwood’s for The Master), I vote for Skyfall. But Anna Karenina will win.

MUSIC (SONG): If that crap from Les Mis beats “Skyfall” by Adele, I will kick my television. Full disclosure: Didn’t see Chasing Ice or Ted.

PRODUCTION DESIGN: An exceptionally tight category, but I think it’s going to go to Lincoln and probably should.

SHORT (ANIMATED): I am still Head Over Heels. But Paperman was seen by more and was almost as delightful so will probably win.

SHORT (LIVE ACTION): I think Asad will and should win, because how could you not love that goofy cat?

SOUND EDITING: Argo is my pick, but I think Zero Dark Thirty may well take it.

SOUND MIXING: Les Misérables with its sung-live performances, will likely capture this one and likely should.

VISUAL EFFECTS: Didn’t see The Hobbit, but I can’t imagine Life of Pi not winning.

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: The incomparable Tony Kushner should and will win for Lincoln. 

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Very tough category. Moonrise Kingdom is my fave, but I think it’ll go to Mark Boal for Zero Dark Thirty.